The nun who counsels patients in the chemo room told me to pray hard about the right decision regarding stopping my last two chemo sessions and going into Alternative medicine. I called my friends for prayers and counselling. After that last chemo, I told myself I’m not going back to that terrible situation again where I abhor the sight of food, but I had to eat because my stomach ache from hunger. Then, I got excited about alternative medicine and felt peace it was the right thing to do. I also vomitted Sunday night. It was the first time I did after almost a week of chemo and this was my 6th chemo. Could this be the answer I was asking from God? I was determined to tell my Oncologist during my check up the next day. I felt 8 cycles, radiation and 18 more cycles of herceptin might be overkill. Can I do away with the treatment that has the most devastating side effects, i.e., 2 cycles of Doxetacel?
” There is no way I would agree to let you stop the chemo.” My Onco replied as she heard me narrate my ordeal with misty eyes and my decision to stop the last two chemo. (I thought I saw her wiping away a tear, I must be convincing!). “I know how tough it is but would you rather stop now with just two more sessions but deal with 6 more when the cancer returns?”
Who knows what might happen? My cousin-in-law completed her 8 cycles, but in two years her cancer was back in her bones! But that’s because she didn’t get Herceptin chemo.
But I couldn’t antagonize my Onco and go on with my plan despite her explanations. The only reprieve I got was to postpone my next chemo for one week. And so, my Onco won again, but that’s because I would rather not be blamed later.
And so Plan B: I will be exploring Hypnosis or Acupuncture. Maybe I can tell my mind that the food taste good even when it’s bitter and that I’m not feeling nauseous! Never say die.