It was always like graduation day after the last chemo, the last radiation, and definitely, after the last Herceptin infusion. There are fears of recurrence, but I’ll take it one day at a time. So relieved that I’m through with the procedures, I feel that I’ll do whatever it takes to keep the big C from coming back. I was a little disappointed that my Oncologist made me come back 3 weeks after my last Herceptin infusion with an order to present the results of my latest chest x-ray, blood chemistry, whole abdomen and pelvic ultrasound. I thought I would get a longer break from these. I would like to tell her that I’d like to do what my brother-in-law did after his last radiation. He never went back for check-ups as he said he would rather die than go through all that again. So do I. I rationalize that if I would have a recurrence, it means that God wants me to go. Or I would take the advice of sister Vee – go ” alternative medicine” as more chemotherapy would destroy my body as until now, I have not recovered fully. Taking the Tamoxifen alone already worries me as it could probably cause uterine cancer also, although she said the probability is just about 0.8%. Although I wish I do not have to see her regularly, I couldn’t tell her, and I need the prescription for Tamoxifen. It is always an exercise in patience every time I see her as the lines are too long in her clinic.
So, after my last check up last November, she told me that check-ups would be every 3 months thereafter. So as it is with everyone else, I wait with bated breath for the results every time: Coming from the holiday season and tempted with unhealthy food beyond my self-control, I will present my not so favorable results to her next week. And I don’t know if it’s a good thing – I just noticed that there’s no longer the film that covers my tongue, and food tastes good again that I’ve also gained weight. And my resolve to do whatever it takes to be healthy flies out of the window when challenged.