A Non-Mom on Mother’s Day


I used to dread Mother’s Day.  The priest usually asks the mothers to go to the front of the altar towards the end of the Mass to be prayed over and blessed. Those women who are left behind are probably single.  But through the years, I have learned to embrace my vocation and no longer get embarrassed by my status even as friends patronize me with remarks that I am also a mother as I  used to teach Catechism to the kids in the chapel.

The closest I got to being a mother was when my eldest sister left her 3 College-age kids to live with me as she followed her husband and helped with their business in the province.  No, I am not the self-sacrificing aunt who paid for her nephews’ or nieces’ tuition fees or other expenses.  Their parents can afford to pay for them.  All I can offer was they can live in my house for free and guidance and tutorials when needed.

Now, all three are married and only my younger nephew is living near me in the compound with his in-laws.  The in-laws would be leaving soon, while my nephew and wife are constantly being sent to work abroad for two weeks to 2 months at a time every two months.

When I was hospitalized for mastectomy and later on,  underwent chemotherapy,  I relied on my nephews and niece and younger sister to see me through those trying times.  I took care of my hospital bills and expenses, but for their care and moral support, I am forever grateful.

But lately, maybe because I look like I have recovered, I feel like a nuisance to my nephew as I feel him getting cross as I bother him with some errands requiring a car as I already sold mine when I was undergoing chemotherapy.  I also feel that I do not figure in their plans and soon I will be left alone as I was left alone now as they spend their weekend out of town.  Well, I’m not their mother and they have their own lives.

And there are some children who are not as considerate of their own mothers.  This, my younger sister realized as her daughter would rather live elsewhere than go home early after work which is the source of their constant quarrel.  The daughter does not care that her mother gets nervous when she’s not home yet in the wee hours of the night almost every day.  She’d rather be with her friends playing games or whatever.   In the end,  she moved out, not even bothering to inform her mother where she is staying. I do not know if I should greet my sister “Happy Mother’s Day!” today.

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