I thought that after I did and followed everything the Oncologist prescribed as treatment – 8 cycles of chemotherapy, 33x radiation and 18 more cycles of targetted therapy, I’d be free of thoughts of cancer recurrence like my friend who had colon cancer and was cancer-free for 14 years, and Fr. R, who had stage 4 lung cancer and was interviewed by an online Oncology Society because he had been cancer-free for 8 years then.
But all of that changed when my friend was suddenly rushed to the hospital for bleeding. She had developed cervical cancer and kidney cancer. I have witnessed how she suffered until her dying day and on her death bed she was practically skin and bones. A few months after her death, Fr. R developed kidney cancer, one of his kidneys had to be removed. And the once jolly Fr. R was refusing more treatment, he just wanted to die.
Ever since these happened, I’ve been experiencing fear especially now that I’m about to undergo breast ultrasound and mammogram again, and the last time I did there was a new small cyst. And of course, the side effects of Tamoxifen on my uterus is being monitored also. I’ve been eating healthy, I’ve been praying hard, and was prayed over by healing priests, and yet the fear remains. And with these thoughts, I ran into a neighbor who also had breast cancer one year after I discovered mine at the wet market. She asked how I was and so I confided all my fears. She said, she also had a friend who just died recently from breast cancer, but not all cases are alike as there are many who lived long after the treatment and I should not worry or be fearful as it is not good for us to be stressed.
I felt a little bit lighter. I felt it was God who made it possible for us to meet so she can comfort me. This is not the first time that God sent someone to talk to me about something that is bothering me. God answers prayers, he sends angels.