Abused or Abuser?

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About 2 weeks ago, a video of a Philippine ambassador to Brazil inflicting physical abuse on her maid went viral. As of this writing, the case is still under investigation and may be cause for the dismissal of the ambassador. Although the physical harm inflicted is not that serious, the emotional trauma experienced by the maid is.

In the case of my niece, the tables are turned. It seems like it is the maid who is the abuser, capitalizing on my niece’s dependence on her to take care of her two boys while she and her husband are at work. Even when the couple are at home, she does not hesitate to scream at the boys, always has the last say, her friend stays at the house every Sunday and can watch TV or listen to the radio at full volume among others. She has shown disrespect to me like she has motioned me to keep quiet as I started to tell her of the package that might arrive while I’m out while she was putting the baby to sleep. I don’t know if it is just her face or she has that perpetual scowl . And sometimes she wouldn’t answer my questions.

But due to the Pandemic, my niece who is a teacher now works from home. And one day, my niece called out her misbehavior. I was shocked to observe how she answered back, having no qualms of her position in the house to the point that my niece cried in front of her. I don’t know what’s with my niece that in spite of that, she said she wouldn’t let her go and that they have made up. She treats her like a close friend, they are fans of that Korean boy band, BTS. I told her to keep a certain distance and put her in her proper place. I told her all of my pent-up anger with the maid’s disrespect and how she would prevent the boys from going to my house, that one day, I could no longer hide my anger at her behaviour, that I asked her if it was my niece’s order to keep the boys from me. My niece arrived on time and witnessed the scene. She said she never ordered her to do that. They are only able to do so when their father tells them to knock on my door so he can play basketball peacefully. But now, his assignment is out-of-town and will be coming back, probably on Christmas day.

For almost the three years they have stayed in my apartment, I tried to hide my dislike or anger for the sake of peace until now as I don’t want to be avoiding people again or dwell in negativity. But I can’t help it now that I didn’t even greet her on her birthday.

And I hate this situation and feeling..